At the age of 16, I decided to stop doing what everyone else was doing! I was finished with trying to be The Girlfriend, The Party Girl and even The Popular Girl. For the first time as an adolescent, all I believed in, was wanting to be me and no one else.
Middle school and High school were the years when everyone was trying to fit a title; The Athlete, The Computer Geek, The Queen Bee. At first all I could think about was how much I wanted to fit in, to conform to what everybody saw as “cool”. It was after 10th grade, when I realized just how un-cool trying to be like everyone else is. My life took a 180 turn, facing me in the opposite direction. After being talked about behind my back by girls who called me their best friend, and after having hair loss due to stress from trying to be The Event Planner, The Three Season Athlete, and The Straight A Student, I hit rock bottom when I realized I couldn’t fit the roles the way I was supposed to, the way THEY expected me to.
My Junior year, I spent focused on who I am on my own, separated from that discouraging, hard to fit title of “The” which preludes each and every stereotype given to students pre-college. I was then, what, if you really must title it, The Sara. Never in my life had I felt so comfortable with who I was than, that year of school until now. I have been able to do the things I love, like soccer and drawing, singing and writing, praying and dancing, without being titled and hidden behind a name. I believe that the word "The" is dangerous, that it limits who we can become, and that if we focus more upon who we are as indivituals we can live more fullfilled lives.
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This was a great topic to write about because it is so universal. There is a time in everyone's life where they learn to be themselves. I would suggest breaking up your paragraphs though. It is easier to read that way and organizes your thoughts better.
ReplyDeleteI understand the feeling of try to fit into a title that you don't really want to but for other's appreciation. Just be yourself and thats cool!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great topic, it is very relatable. You include a strong persona connection which is good, but I would suggest that you could break up the essay into a few paragraphs so it flows better.
ReplyDeletein the sentence, "For the first time as an adolescent, all I believed in, was wanting to be me and no one else," I think you should take out the second comma (it just sounded more fluid in my head that way).
ReplyDeleteAlso in the sentence, "My Junior year, I spent focused on who I am on my own.." i think it might sound better if you wrote focusing instead of focused.
These are just suggestions though so dont feel forced to change your paper..
By the way I loved when you said The Sara! Great essay and topic!
I agree with your topic. It is saddening to see how much peer pressure and the pressures of a social life can alter an adolescents natural way of life.
ReplyDeleteI love this essay because it is the ultimate truth. I don't think you can find a single person who hasn't felt this way at one point or another in their life. I love that you were bright enough to realize it and follow through to make yourself happy which is the most important thing.
ReplyDeleteThis essay really hit a cord for me. I'm trying so hard to just be myself, and nobodies version of me. I respect you so much that you were able to do this in High school when there is so much drama and pressure to be like everybody else.
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